No man is worth your tears - Cameran (Real World San Diego)

Okay kids, today we're gonna learn all about Japanese poems called Haiku. A haiku is just like an American poem, except it doesn't rhyme and is totally stupid - Mr. Garrison, South Park

Nah dude, independant films are those black and white hippy movies. They're always about gay cowboys eating pudding - Cartman, South Park

I think Mtv should consider using subtitles. Even I can't understand what the fuck I'm saying half the time - Ozzy Osbourne

Hate. I. You. It's a puzzle, work on it - Drew, The Drew Carrey Show

In the end you always go back to the people who were there in the beginning - Andie, Dawson's Creek

What tree? That's not a tree, it looks like a fuzzy tv antennae - Doug Funny, Doug

You can't take something off the Internet. That's like trying to take pee out of a swimming pool - Joe, Newsradio

Yeah, you were a little bratty. And Nazi-Germany was a little agressive - Aunt Zelda, Sabrina the Teenage Witch

Prayer. The last refuge of a scoundrel - Lisa Simpson

What is it with advice lately? Everyone's giving all this advice and I'm still totally screwed up - Jed, Opposite Sex

I'm struggling with most of the things I do in my life - William Hung (aka the guy who sang a very interesting rendition of Ricky Martin's "She Bangs" and managed to land a record deal)

I'm not fat, I just have a different life choice - Cartman, South Park

If I said no the first time what makes you think I'll say yes the second time? - Homer Simpson

He needs Communication Skills 101, like how to talk without pissing people off - Kelly, Real World New Orleans

And by popular vote I mean the who sucked less vote - Jimmy Fallon, Weekend Update 11-4-00

Man, if you get any dumber you're gonna need a helmet - Hyde, That 70's Show

Oh yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths so when they bark they shoot bees at you? - Homer Simpson

Friends

I've said too much. I'm hopeless and awkward and desparate for love - Chandler

You're over me? You're over me? When, uh, when were you...under me? - Ross

I'm over you. I am over you. And that is what they call ca-losure - Rachel

Now you know how I feel every day. The world is my lesbian wedding - Chandler

Couldn't we just lose our virginities again? Cuz, you know, actually I think mine is growing back - Chandler

Okay, from now on you don't get to talk - Chandler

I think we're two sachets away from becoming a lesbian couple - Chandler

Oh my God! Where are all the men?! - Chandler

Okay, I could take two minutes out of my day to kick your ass - Joey

You know, there isn't one part of that sentence I don't need explained - Chandler

Are you actually saying these words - Chandler