Yeah, I had a paper due for Ms. Storm, then
I realized it was just a nightmare
(7-13-00)
I had a 'C' going into that final and that
final just kicked my ass (3-13-01)
One of the reasons I don't commit felonies is because I don't want to be sent to
a federal pound me in the ass prison (3-15-01)
That's why I'm getting married, I don't like being sick by myself (3-15-01)
He's even scary walking down the hall. Maybe I need a new walk (3-16-01)
It's a rebel curl. Its name is Jim. He's like, 'No, I'm not gonna curl the way the others do (3-19-01)
Yeah, Jeff (Dahmer) came over and tried to eat us again so we sent him home (3-20-01)
We're on a first name basis, me and the uterus are (3-23-01)
I'd rather have uterus lining come off than a huge bun in the over for nine months (3-23-01)
Okay, from now on I will think before I say things (4-16-01)
Don't mistake my fuzziness for cold-heartedness (4-17-01)
Holly: They gave you a fuckload of sauce.
Jake: Yeah, they order sauce by the fuckload now (4-17-01)
I just want to suck on his face, he's so hot (4-17-01)
I'm gonna kick someone so hard in the ovaries, their kids come out retarded
(4-17-01)
You just need a unitard (4-20-01)
Dude, get a unitard and do some Yoga, or pick up interpritive dance (4-20-01)
First of all, she's psycho. Second, she is the clingiest girl you will ever meet
in your life. Third, she's just crazy. I wouldn't do it if I knew I couldn't get away with it (5-1-01)
Martha: Why don't you have sex with her?
Jake: Because I don't want little Laura/Jakes running around (5-3-01)
It's stretched out like a porn star's vagina. I can pretty much go wherever I want
(5-3-01)
That would be like kicking a bear in the nuts. He can rip your head off because
you were in the woods, provoking it (5-4-01)
Our entire society is based on where your genitals are placed. Doesn't that blow
your mind? (5-4-01)
I have already decided I am going to hide money from my wife and kids (5-4-01)
The day I go pick up my tux is going to be busier than a porn shop having a sidewalk
sale (5-7-01)
Think happy thoughts. Dogs. Kitties. Fat people falling down stairs (5-7-01)
I like to see 'em and I like to touch 'em but I don't wanna sleep with 'em (5-9-01)
I'm two people short of a threesome (5-18-01)
Sorry, you'll have to wait for my third born. My first born and half of my second
is going to pay for college (5-21-01)
I can't walk fifteen feet in the door without being raped up the ass by her (5-29-01)
It's full of fruity goodness. And stuff (5-31-01)
It was like a porn, but not as good (5-31-01)
Cannibalistic clown midgets...are any of them amputees? (5-31-01)
Midget penises. Crazy stuff (5-31-01)
With their little midget penises... (5-31-01)
I could hang my coat on it, it's such a nice rack (6-1-01)
I'm a whore to society (6-1-01)
Next thing you know, you wake up and you're thirty-five, and you're naked in someone's
pool with a buttcheek missing (6-1-01)
Well, geez...shoot (6-1-01)
...And then I got bufed by a dear (6-1-01)
Will you get off my ass please (6-1-01)
New gems recently unearthed from an old AP GAP notebook...
We have good boob talks (1-29-01)
I couldn't be around her all day long, I'd kill myself (2-27-01)
The nameless party shall, um...remain nameless (3-1-01)
I wouldn't lose my virginity to that (3-28-01)
