Is there a hump-free Halo? (12-16-02)
You should make a Halo porn (12-16-02)
Whoever did that just scored massive tool points (12-16-02)
I don't think it's ethically wrong if it's something that should be said (1-29-03)
Becky: Poke me and die
Knappster: I look forward to that (2-4-03)
Too much stupid (2-4-03)
Not that I would support this in any way, but keep in mind he isn't
married yet
(2-4-03)
You are a big goofball and that is one of your better qualities (2-9-03)
I hate both of you violently. Equally (2-9-03)
Me: I have to do this child study SHIT
Knappster: So we probably shouldn't be talking about giant penises
then (2-16-03)
Me: Our mom is so fucked up; 'Thank You' and 'Knappster'.
Knappster: Yeah, she's stupid
Me: She'll be like, 'Where the heck did they go?'
Knappster: 'Far away from you, psycho' (2-18-03)
You l33t motherfucker (2-18-03)
Knappster: Can you put Sarah on the list too?
Ken: I'll put her on the 'To-do' list
Knappster: She'd like that (2-18-03)
It's all your fault, you make me stupid (2-18-03)
Me: I don't know what you mean by doing
Knappster: Oh I think you know, stuff that needs to be done
Knappster: I'm such a...
Becky: Tool?
Knappster: I was so going to say that (2-19-03)
You're a big ball of stupid that I can't get away from (2-19-03)
Leave the test-tube baby in the tube where he belongs (2-25-03)
Becky: It's hot in here
Knappster: It's Sarah's fault
Becky: Wow, what a compliment
Knappster: No, it really is Sarah's fault, she turned the thermostat
up (2-25-03)
I'm 'tarded (3-5-03)
Drag him out of bed half naked. Give him a hug. Give him a reason not to go back
to sleep (3-12-03)
I'm always someone's bitch (3-12-03)
Alpha Delta Pi (points to me)...Turkey pot pie (points to self) I'm starting my
own fraternity. For fat people (3-12-03)
Knappster: Do you think I'm fat?
Me: No. You're meaty. Why, do you want me to think you're fat?
Knappster: No...do you think I'm fat? (3-12-03)
My goal is to infest your world with so many inside jokes that you will be in a
constant state of joy. Then everyone will think you're insane because you'll be giggling constantly (3-12-03)
Me: Wait for me. What am I supposed to say if Mark comes in and
I'm just here?
Knappster: Say, 'I am hacksoring his machine of doom and your
l33t machine is next'
Me: Uh...(3-25-03)
Silence is broken with the teeth (3-25-03)
Some of us work for slave wages because we like it because we have been brainwashed
(3-25-03)
That boy is wise beyond his years (3-26-03)
Oh, that's a challenge. We have to get my roommate drunk and have him perform routine
computer maintenence (3-27-03)
Me: Hello! 8 hours of good wrestling!
Knappster: It's going to be 8 hours?
Me: I just told you, they're showing it twice! 2 times 4 is 8.
Knappster: Right, cuz I can add
Me: Um, I multiplied (3-27-03)
Me: I looked damn hot that night. Like, I have pictures from the
bar crawl to prove it
Knappster: I've never been attractive. Ever (4-1-03)
Me: That man has the tiniest waste ever
Knappster: Yeah, I think it might even be smaller than yours (4-3-03)
Of course it's smaller than mine. Mine is what we like to call fat
(4-3-03)
Knappster: Why are you moping?
Me: Boys suck
Knappster: But you don't...that could be a problem. (4-5-03)
You have to look on the bright side of life - when life gets you down, kick Ken
in the balls (4-5-03)
There's always a hot picture of you. LIke, three out of three pictures of you are
hot (4-5-03)
What can I say, I am one quotable bitch (4-5-03)
I don't get the wild monkey sex. I don't even get the sad pathetic sex. I got nothing
(4-5-03)
Find me a new one please. Brittany seems alright. We seem to get along just fine.
Granted, she probably doesn't think I am the most attractive person in the world, but nice counts, right? (4-9-03)
Knapp: She is THE anti-drug
Me: Yeah, don't do drugs. You can do...
Becky: You can do Sarah (4-9-03)
If someone is going to sacrifice themselves for the sake of stupidity and getting
yelled at, it's gonna be me (4-9-03)
Oh my God! She is really nipping out. She wants it so bad. It's awful (4-15-03)
You're like a freakin' amusement park. You must be this tall and this old and this
cute and this nice before you can have any fun with Sarah (4-22-03)
Me: You're retarded
Knappster: Everybody's gotta be something (4-22-03)
Me: Like the glow-in-the-dark ones, do you really wanna see your
dick glow in the dark?
Knappster: Yes, it's like wearing a glow-in-the-dark shirt around
your penis (4-22-03)
It's like walking, sometimes you trip (4-22-03)
See, that's the thing. If men and women could think of each other as brother and
sister it would supress the sexual urges. Otherwise I'd just wanna hump your leg (4-23-03)
The goat has been scaped (4-23-03)
Fuck me, I'm just going to bend over and take this one for the team (4-27-03)
The Great Hall is not the Great Make-Out Hall (4-28-03)
It all comes back to the penis. The penis says you can have this name but not that
name. The penis says this person can fuck around but this person can't. The penis is always right (4-28-03)
I'm so pissed and there's not a damn thing I can do about it (4-28-03)
Lets get together to do homework. We're not going to do homework, we're going to
break stuff (4-28-03)
Me: Well, maybe if he would stop being an ass
Knappster: Well, maybe if you offered yours... (4-28-03)
The more I hang around you, the more trouble I have telling if you're drunk (4-28-03)
You should make-out or something. You've already slept together (4-28-03)
You need to be a writer. Don't work with small stupid people, you need to write
(4-28-03)
You just need to throw the word naked in there, cuz of the reaction you get from
people. Some get offended, some get excited, and some just don't know what to say (4-28-03)
He's a cuddle-bitch (4-28-03)
I figured hell, if I was her I'd have to drink my sorrows away (4-29-03)
Me: But I think he's an ass and he thinks I'm annoying
Knappster: You're perfect for each other (4-29-03)
I'm telling you, the secret to all good friendships is fucking randomly (4-29-03)
Me: But you're his agent
Knappster: I still am. And as his agent I give you full rights
to do whatever you want with Ken (4-30-03) (long story, but we're actually talking about all the quotes and the 'copyrights'
on them)
Me: Mom and Dad made a mistake (points to Knapp)
Knapp: They made a couple. You and me, we're twin stupids (5-6-03)
Dylan: Don't you know you're sexy
Knapp: No, I am rather unattractive (5-6-03)
Just think, someday we could have lots of little Penises running around. Hopefully
they will grow up to be big Penises, and won't have adjustment issues, and will make lots of friends (5-6-03)
Her caboose was more like the whole train (5-6-03)
Spread the wood (6-20-03)
I just have to find a girl who wants to hump a teddy bear (6-24-03)
Dad's a pimp and Mom's a heinous bitch (6-24-03)
Oh look, it's a make-out lounge (6-30-03)
Sorry, I gotta remember to learn to remember to be taught how to learn statistics
(6-30-03)
John: Excuse me while I adjust myself
Knapp: There is no excuse for adjusting yourself in front of me....Ever....Exclamation
mark...(6-30-03)
I have a sharpened pencil. Do my homework (6-30-03)
I can't read this! I need a cookie! (6-30-03)
I didn't stay at my girlfriend's house, I stayed at my boyfr- my brother's house
(6-30-03)
You might as well just show it to Keck and see how long I'm in the program
(6-30-03)
Knapp: I have a 7th sense about these things
Me: What's your 6th sense?
Knapp: Fat
You know the best thing about NSE? I am no longer the goofiest person I have ever
seen (7-7-03)
Asshole is a term of endearment in our family (7-7-03)
I must steal a crappy girlie pen so I can write better (7-7-03)
I just wanna punch myself in the nuts. Is that so wrong? (7-7-03)
Knapp: You Music Nazi
John: That may be true, but at least I'll be happy
Knapp: But then you'll find a woman
John: I have a woman
Knapp: But then you'll get married and it'll get worse
John: Then I'll come back and kick you in the nuts
Knapp: See, you already are bitter (7-7-03)
You turned him into one quotable bitch (7-7-03)
Every day there is a list of like, 5 to 10 people Sarah despises (7-8-03)
You are hot. If I wasn't your brother, or taken, or unattractive, I'd be on you
like ham on a sandwich. Is that good? (7-11-03)
Sorry, I speak slowly and stupidly (7-15-03)
I have a hard time seeing them doing anything. Even talking (7-15-03)
Me: Oh gee, we could go to the Lizzie McGuire movie
Knapp: Or you could shoot yourself and watch the Disney Channel
for a few hours while you bleed to death, for cheaper (7-19-03)
I think if anyone had the balls to do it, it would be a guy (7-24-03)
I feel more giving knowing you owe me money (7-24-03)
Knapp: So what is it that you're going to do?
Me: With what?
Knapp: I don't know
I listen a lot. Shut up, you're always talking (7-24-03)
You have to open and suck simultaneously (7-30-03)
There's no reason why guys date girls. They're annoying, they're expensive, and
guys love every minute of it (7-30-03)
I really think you need to deal with your issues with wang (7-30-03)
I am a master breast-stroker (8-4-03)
When I see you I think hibbiddy-dibbiddy (8-6-03)
French. German. Ugly. (9-1-03)
Get away from me you psycho fish! (9-6-03)
Sex is so nude (9-6-03)
I am very much the antagonistic boyfriend when it comes to you (9-19-03)
There are some freshman in the program where I'm just like, "Damn, shut up." (9-19-03)
(singing) If my girlfriend wasn't such a psycho she'd be easier to love (9-22-03)
If I looked like Ken I wouldn't be able to count either. I'd get more ass than
a toilet seat (9-22-03)
You are the uber bitch. And that makes me happy (11-23-03)
Is Becky a princess? Hell no, and you know why? She don't got no hair (12-1-03)
So all your fantasies have to do with penises? (12-14-03)
You're having this much premarital sex, so you have to have lots of marital sex,
so you have to have lots of marriage (1-9-04)
Me: You don't have room for more than one bitch in your life
Knappster: Actually I do, I'm quite tolerant (1-9-04)
We wouldn't want to risk hurting your ass, which must be preserved (2-23-04)
Knapp: Go to your happy place
Me: I'm trying.
Knapp: Picture this: you, a baseball bat, chasing Becky down the street
Me: Which one?
Knapp: Both. Does it really matter?
Me: Good point (10-2-04)
There's something about making someone laugh so hard they shoot fluids from their bodies
that just make it better somehow (10-20-04)
Susan and Kyle are still kind of together (10-20-04)
If I ever give you a job, your title will be 'Minister of Hibbiddy Dibbiddy' (10-20-04)
He doesn't qualify as a friend, he's missing some parts (10-20-04)
If Michelle was carrying the Savior, this would be a completely different story (10-20-04)
You cry a lot. I'd imagine if we harnassed your tears we could save the starving children
in Ethiopia (12-8-04)
You two already work as a couple. I mean, at least he isn't your dad (2-23-05)
Sex implies penis (3-20-05)
It is morally wrong for him to marry the Ice Queen (3-21-05)
He's marrying a Becky, he deserves to be miserable the rest of his life (4-19-05)
neitherworlder: SCREEN LICKER (6-23-06)
Me: I've only ever had sex with four guys. You all act like it's so many more.
Knappster: Yeah, but you practiced with those four people a lot! (10-14-06)
It wouldn't be you without at least one dysfunctional relationship. It's just how you function (10-14-06)
I don't know what that means, keep the words small please. Just because I have a college education
doesn't mean I'm smart (10-14-06)
You need a prince, not a frog. Stop banging frogs (10-14-06)
You bring out the evil in men (10-14-06)
Oh yeah? Well, you're bad at walking! (10-14-06)
Me: I don't really like myspace.
Knappster: Me either, it's like Geocities 2.0 (10-14-06)
