...Yeah, but then he'd end it with something like, 'Lets go
eat children' (7-21-02)
I just love Vin Diesel, he makes me drool and quiver (8-20-02)
Yeah, just wait until he's old and has wrinkly balls (8-20-02)
Henry: Have you ever just wanted to take all the hard stuff off
your plate and go...(simulates smashing face into plate)
Ken: Well, since the plate itself is hard and I'm good-looking,
no (9-6-02)
Don't be loud or you'll have me down your throat (10-25-02)
I am suddenly very afraid of all the heterosexuals here (11-8-02)
Funny. Ouch, but funny (11-8-02)
Physically I'm 20. Mentally, I'm about 14.5, maybe 14.25 (11-8-02)
I'm broke, and I still have no morals (11-17-02)
Yeah, I got a Play Station 2 so I'm not so pissed off at my residents this year
(11-21-02)
Add a wifebeater to that and you've got the whole 'white trash' look going
(11-21-02)
I'd rather cut my nuts off than go to any other school (1-19-03)
I don't want to stay here and become a negative, pessimistic son-of-a-bitch
(1-19-03)
Love blows dick (1-19-03)
Me: But I'm only around you like five minutes of the day, if that
Ken: And that five minutes is hell (1-19-03)
We had percentage and statistics and everything working against us, cuz lets face
it, I get bored (1-19-03)
I'm a dick (1-19-03)
Every time there's a break-up, your name is always mentioned in the middle of it
(unknown)
Ken: Ah, should've taken speech
Me: I don't really like talking, so not so much with that
Ken: Somehow I don't believe that. You not talking is like me
not being mean
(2-18-03)
I'm a prancing pony (2-18-03)
Becky: James, you should eat that (quesadilla)
Ken: If you don't eat that I'll shove it down your throat
Becky: And he doesn't mean food, ya know
Ken: You're damned right I don't (2-18-03)
There are some people I would like to just toss off the balcony before I leave
(2-18-03)
We don't need any more bitches in the program (2-20-03)
Are we arguing about something stupid and pointless again? (2-21-03)
Oh sweet Naked (3-4-03)
...I've done it on a table, on a bed, maybe in the backseat of a car. But never
on a desk (3-4-03) (He's not talking about what you think, get your mind out of the gutter :P )
Ken: Don't you have a house you should be eating at right now?
Me: We don't have a house
Ken: Shouldn't you all be eating together at least?
Me: Ken, it's Tuesday
Ken: (pause) It is? I slept all day when I wasn't in class, I
don't know what's going on (3-25-03)
Ken: All that happens at formals is that girls take lots of pictures
and get really drunk and dance
Ben V: You're opposed to hot drunk girls dancing? You're not going
gay on me, are you? (3-25-03)
You'd have better luck selling yourself as a sex slave (3-26-03)
If girls were stupider and wanted more sex...(3-26-03)
I thought that was your little black book with all your guys in it (3-26-03)
It's just like Lord of the Rings all over again (3-26-03)
Ken: I'm so proud of you. I'm proud of all my residents--
Me/Ken: But I'm
not your resident/Except you're not my resident...
Ken: I'm still proud (3-26-03)
Damnit, I paid $40 for 'fuck' (3-30-03)
Ken: There was entirely too much crying here last year. The wing
was floating in tears.
Me: And this year it's beer (3-30-03)
Who the hell else works down here that's 6'4 and looks like a big goofy monkey?
(4-1-03)
Don't make me pull this convoy over! (4-5-03)
My birthday is on Hump Day. How's that for recognition. it's Hump Day, hump anything
you want (4-9-03)
Knapp: So do people come talk to you while you're working?
Ken: Yeah and one of 'em really kills off the brain cells (wild
head gesture in my direction) (4-15-03)
A penis is like a Swiss Army Knife (4-23-03)
Can you imagine if your mind and your penis fought? (4-23-03)
'Twister' is Hebrew for 'Penis Game' (4-23-03)
Ken: That's confidential, I can't tell you because you're a resident...But
you're not even a Kauffman resident
Me: And yet I pretty much know almost everything that happens
anyway.
Ken: What a waste of perfectly good information (4-29-03)
Ken: You're the one leaking stuff to the DN! (to me)
Matt Johnson: What stuff has been leaked to the DN?
Ken: Well, nothing, but she's trying (4-29-03)
The most they'd got is, oh no, Kauffman's five parking spots are littered with
cigarette butts (4-29-03)
So why are you paying full prince in Sandoz? Next year you should talk to Housing
and see if you could get like, dual citizenship, and pay half for wherever you're living, and half for Kauffman. I bet they'd
let you (4-29-03)
Me: Did someone just say 'Hey Streff' ?
Ken: Huh?...Hey...that's my last name (5-6-03)
Me: If I took everything you said seriously I'd...
Ken: ...have shot me by now (5-6-03)
I will not let him ruin my life anymore (8-4-03)
It's my job to make girls cry (8-29-03)
I'm a heartthrob, shut up (8-29-03)
I'm a dorm whore (8-29-02)
Me: What is this, 'Pick on Sarah Month'?
Ken: Actually it's 'Pick on Sarah Year'. But 2003 is almost over.
And what are the chances of it being two years in a row? (9-2-03)
Sex is overrated (9-30-03)
How about two southern teams, like Miami and Florida State come up here. We'll
call it the Blue Balls Bowl (10-5-03)
Kok: You apologized to Mark. Bad form.
Me: But the apology was sarcastic. I'd never really apologize
to him.
Ken: You're such a bitch. (10-5-03)
I can eat on my lap, I'm white trash (10-10-03)
Ken: If i was a girl I'd date Heath
Sarah H: If you were a girl you'd date anyone
(10-10-03)
You couldn't be an RA, you're too much of a damn spoiled brat (11-2-03)
Ken: What did he say?
Me: He's going ot have sex with Ella tonight.
Ken: What? I thought you were gay. (12-5-03)
It's like gasoline for the balls (12-14-03)
I may have no money but I have been blessed with a rich deposit of sperm. Paper
or plastic? (1-11-04)
You never say nevermind when discussing the male reproductive system (1-11-04)
I am a stallion, I am a rock, I am Ken Streff (1-11-04)
I can't eat any more, they taste like Teetz (4-18-04)
Teetz: I've forgotten how to hula hoop
Ken: Well maybe if you learned how to fuck it wouldn't be a problem (8-20-04)
